The timing of things has been quite off as of late. It seems like I am thinking of doing something well in advance, yet when the time comes I can't remember what I was going to do, or worse, I choose not to. From watching movies to reading articles for class, I don't seem to have the interest to keep up with my head anymore. That is a problem for me because my whole life I always thought of that as my weapon of choice. I could resort to other mroe agressive means, but my head always kept me afloat and on the go. It organizes my day, acts as an alarm clock, gives me reminders for specific dates/times, and never failed me when I needed it. Only now I can't seem to use it in the same context, or maybe it is just more advanced than my body.
I guess I don't know which applies here, but for the last two months I have felt in over my head on a number of occasions and the only thing that keeps me sane is the same thing that always did, movies.
Something new can remedy any situation I feel like I need to get out of, and the classics can bring me back to a time when I didn't need to worry about what I would be doing the next day. There is something about them that just gets inside of me and makes me forget all that was worriesome. I can't explain it, but if you have ever watched a movie with me you should know that I only talk when there are very funny play-on-words and the movie isn't put together well, and I never pause it to go to the bathroom because any interuptions bring me out of that state and I can't get back into it when I return.
Is that normal, does anyone else feel a connection to films that they can't explain aside from the desire to watch more. If I could I would watch movies all day and night just to register a directory for everything ever made. This is what I attempted in High School and that knowledge still resides in the back of my head. You can hear about it if you name a movie but can't remember the actor or the name of the character they played, or maybe you want to know other films that a director has made. That is the sort of stuff that I could rely on, but now my head has done something new and it is hard to adjust to this. I can't remember things without writing them down and I plan ahead for things yet forget about them or change my mind at the last minute.
Maybe I just don't understand how it works anymore, and maybe I just have been sick or had a recurring cold that won't die. Either way, by the end of this weekend this is all that I could think of.
I leave you with the lyrics by the Pipettes from the song "I love you"
There use to be a lot of things that I didn't know
And although they still exist I try not to let them show
But I think that now you see me for my true colors
Sure you recognize I'm more stupid than the others
But I love you, and I love you, and I really love you,
Till the day I die there will never be a time when we have to say goodbye
I seen you try to laugh at all of my bad jokes
And I've cooked you seven meals, six of them on which you choked
But it has taken me a while to get use to this good feeling
When I woke up with a smile how I nearly started screaming
That I love you, and I love you, and I really love you,
Till the day I die there will never be a time when we have to say goodbye because I love you
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Narcissism is all the rage among the young (Plato)
1 comment:
hey--i had the same feelings while i was in high school. i didn't get too many classics in then, more just bad 70s stuff that my dad liked to watch like dirty harry, war films, and the blues brothers. none of my friends would watch any of it with me though so i was on my own.
The biggest draw for me was first the stories, then the way they were told. The the eccentricities of characters (blues brothers, scorpio and harry from dirty harry, other stupid ones like dennis hopper in speed, sally field in soapdish, etc. yes, it's embarassing but this was the stuff i watched) and how funny or clever the dialogues were. after i met matt i started to see the visual end of things, what shots looked impressive, how the filmmaking added to the story. things like that. it all made me intensely happy though, still does.
i loved school, all my classes at the U, after silberman's first class and my later one with haidee wasson i almost threw up i was so excited to be learning about it all.
i wish i could stay on top of it all, maybe write screenplays too. i'll have to be content with LIFE'S ECCENTRICITY now, most of the time it's the best story i know of......!
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