The knowledge of uncertantity

Kind of misleading when I think of it now, but I never really was certain about knowledge in the first place. In the end it's all just time used well, but what does it get you at the end of the day? I guess I keep trying to figure this out, and I really commit to what I sign up for, but lately I have been wondering what would happen if I just stopped a while back. If I never went to college would I still be in Minnesota? Is it possible to be successful without an education? Will there ever be a time when people will stop questioning themselves? Probably not, but I have learned how to keep it all to myself with practice.
Things have been like this for the past month I guess, I have been on an emotional roller coaster dealing with jobs, money, marriage, school, pets, friends, family, even myself. I can't seem to make up my mind anymore, even for simple things like what I should do tonight with the three hours I have to myself. I watched the remains of a movie I never finished, nothing great, and I almost put in another but couldn't pick one. I have about ten I have not yet seen sitting on my shelf, and I rented three classics earlier today, but I couldn't choose which one deserves the slot. This is probably the only time for the next week that I will get the chance to sit down and watch a movie for the next week and I can't pick one to watch. This use to be my passion, watch movies to say that I did. I use to skip homework for this pleasure, even bad stuff like trilogy's that shouldn't have even got the money to start shooting in the first place and romance flicks that never change.
There was a time when I watched movies just because it felt good to watch them, I would see things that intrigued me and things that I thought I could do. It made me want to make movies, and the more I watched the more I wanted it to happen. Somewhere down the line of pursuing that I became very selective about them and now I am just to confused to actually pick. This doesn't mean I have not seen a number of movies lately, I think this last one made five this week, and I have been averaging about one a day for the last few months. It's just that I kind of lost out on the fun part of just watching a film to see what happens, because I immersed myself in the field I know all the backup stuff about the film beforehand. In most cases how it ends, but there has not been a movie that I have seen in the past year that I didn't have a detailed background about before I saw it. And lately I have been tagging along to see films, not that I don't choose what I want to see anymore, but I have been asking what other people want to see as a courtesy for their tastes. So I have seen films on other people's time and telling them more about the movie than they got from the actual screening.
It is pretty weird when I think about it that way, but it's true. I think this has led me to act so uncertain about what I want to see when it is just me choosing. Very strange when I break it down for myself like that, I'm sure it seemed obvious for you but sometimes I just need to talk to myself and figure things out. You were just lucky enough to share with me this time.
All that aside, things have been busy for me again. Not much work and not much writing but classes at the Minneapolis College of Art and Design and spending large amounts of money to support those classes. My mood has been very up and down this past week, but I am glad I took the steps for this and am preparing the way I am because it will be great in the long run. That entails a masters in film production somewhere down the line and right now it is rumored to be somewhere in New York of all places. That is because Suzanne got accepted to dental school there and we both think it would a great place to spend a few years getting an education then returning to the places we know and love to show everyone what we have learned and how we have changed. Minnesota is still an option for us, if they ever get back to us, but we have been thinking a lot about New York lately since they said yes and we have been planning more and more about what we could do there each passing day.
So that's the compacted update as of now. I am still trying to write a few reviews, in particular 'There Will Be Blood' but I need to see it again so that I have some better notes. But when another Great one comes by you will be the first to hear of it.
adieu